Let fear be the fertile ground for faith
Fear can paralyze you or be motivation to empower you.
Fear is meant to stop you in your tracks, to keep you from fully living. But what if you turned that fear into a base for faith?
We are human and to be fully human we need to fully feel. Being that we are human and not perfect, fear is a natural human emotion in real and perceived circumstances.
This sounds simple. It is.
But it is far from easy.
There are many days I know this in my head yet cower in my heart, doing all kinds of busy activity or hiding behind guarded walls to try to ignore it. I can tell when I am in this glorified coping mode when I am losing energy. I am using my strength to try to get through or push aside what I don't want to really face. Instead of feeling refreshed and walking in faith or hope, I feel drained. As each day progresses (yes, I admit sometimes it takes me days to face my fear...weeks, gulp, or even months). I have less and less focus for every day life. When you are consumed by fear, 80% of your energy goes into that story you are battling, what you are believing/writing in your head. That leaves only 20% for living every day life. I don't know about you but as a mother alone, to fully be present takes more than 20%. The truth is, at the heart of fear is a story you are telling yourself that is wrought with shame, guilt, hopelessness, anger, never feeling good enough.
Yet even while circumstances may not change, I can tap into strength that is not my own. This requires mindful time to turn inward and see what it is I really am feeling, really fearing. As a believer, my safest places are found in prayer and journaling, crying, listening and receiving. Simple. Not always easy. Even in these private disciplines we have to be willing to face painful things. But in these times, the very thing I feared to address turns into a path towards feeling more free as I unburden my very soul and ditch the lie and replace it with truth.
How we feel may feel real. But the reality is that it is not who we are created to be. Circumstances may have really happened, but we are unconditionally loved regardless. While we may have to take responsibilities for our actions, we don't have to wear the shame as a badge. We are forgiven, ie still loved.
Press in beloved. Press in to the One who loves you and offers so freely the inner healing you crave. It comes in layers, love. It is never all at once.