When you say yes you start a process that can’t be undone.
If you get pregnant, there’s going to be a birth. There’s no undoing what’s been done. We contend for life and when in community we hold space for one another in ways one can’t solo. There’s a process that has to be completed regardless of what’s on the other side.
If you say yes to being married it starts a process you didn’t even know… or didn’t realize the depth of. Someone once said marriage is more about making you holy than happy. You’ll unpack things you didn’t know were attached to you. You will watch someone else do the same. It’s beautiful when it works synergistically (even while often messy) to hold space for one another (if Jesus is the glue). It’s brutal when there’s a disintegration of what should be. Both paths are full of dying to self and birthing new things if you allow yourself to be molded.
If you say yes to God there’s no turning back. Even if you run like Jonah He will patiently call you back. The great fish was provision not punishment. It was where God met him. We often choose yes then negotiate the unknown that accompanies it.
I’m not saying any of it isn’t scary. It can be both scary and freeing, predictable and surprising, taking every ounce of your courage, boldness and humility. And to never say yes is to live only half-if that-of all you could enjoy about life. To fully live, to fully love means to fully feel and take the risk of hurting along the way.
These photos, the present, the memories, this place… this is the fruit of my yes. All the joy within all the pain. All the grateful within the grief. It is so painful I sometimes I have to find my breath. But the depth of who I am, who I’ve become, who I’m called to be can’t be robbed in this season. I am tenanciously holding onto that as truth. When I take time to see, I recognize that I am surrounded by a million little miracles. My prayer is that you will press into more of Him, be rooted and grounded in His love, see the million little miracles He does and has for you.