We have had two box turtle finds over the course of a few days. They in and of themselves are simply delightful but seeing the wonder on my kid's faces and answering their inquisitive questions melts my mama heart w connection and purpose. I love these moments more and more as I age.
As I experience more of life I'm impressed upon learning to live in the moment. I am learning (key word ending -ing) to be fully present even while doing the daily things I have to do. I have had too many moments I presumptulusly thought I would have that felt stolen from me later.
I nurture and I provide for my kids because I love and I am responsible person. Important. I was encouraged to praise my children for character growing up and I have. Honorable. Was this/is this enough? They know I love them but do they feel loved simply for who they are?
I say I love you but i am learning to say it more...and especially to my bigs who no longer need me to hold them on my lap the same way and get them a bandaid. But they need to hear it just as much. I am purposing in busy moments to pause and give eye contact. (Yes, sometimes I have to say, "I really want to hear you, give me a few minutes.") Making eye contact is just part of being a better listener.
I've wrestled myself with performance based love...thinking I've needed to perform to qualify. I have outperformed most days and fallen short mentally others. Both have left me feeling unfulfilled. It is/was a bad checklist running in my head. I'm trying to just be. Be present. In the kitchen cooking together, reading that favorite book before naptime, or jumping into THEIR activities. We don't need to do every minute of life together but we can do more of life together than we are.
It's in those moments deep memories and a foundation can be created...unscripted. Quality moments out of quantity of time...not trying to force quality moments from limited time. I'm not parenting perfectly but I wanted to share a heads up...maybe someone else needed to hear this today too. The time goes by so fast. Every day you have now matters. You are literally not guaranteed tomorrow. Don't live in fear but live fully today intentionally. Redeem what has been lost, press forward for all that can be gained. Grow.