Reach for Grace
You can blame people for how they've failed you. Failed to make you feel safe. Failed to love you enough. Failed to do all the right things. You can abandon deep relationships for independence because you can no longer trust others. You can put a shield around you even if you have an inviting smile plastered on the outside. You can look for new people to do what others have failed to do.
Or you can reach for grace. Grace for yourself. Grace for others. You can take your misplaced trust in others and put it back on Jesus.
It's the difference between being guarded, living in constant fear of failure or healing & finding life again. You might feel these legit feels but healing says you won't stay there. The later teaches you healthy boundaries and the ability to still have depth to your significant relationships. It allows you to forgive and still find love... for yourself and for others.
Some days, I'll be honest this feels bigger than me and too difficult. I've had raw moments that find me vocalizing internal whispering of "I can't ". Over and over the Spirit reminds me, "You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you." A familiar, simple verse that carries a whole lot of depth. To feel the pain and be open with humility before Him means to find comfort in the moments of quiet when He speaks back. It's these moments I crave. These moments of shalom in the middle of the turbulence.
Find your space to feel, to process and then to receive. This is true self care that heals on the inside and becomes your testimony to pour into someone else. Maybe not today...but one day. Don't do it for them but rest assured you can find life again and pain does develop purpose.